The trauma due to family of origin issues in our childhood affected our brain development. We live in a constant state of vigilance against hurts, shame and fear; collectively, stress. Even minor stresses cause a chemical reaction in our brain - a rise in cortisol - which puts our whole body and metabolism on high alert. We "age regress" and become a frightened little girl again. All this happens below our conscious level of awareness. We are on auto pilot.
Our emotions are unbalanced: as are we.
Below I share a video detailing how identifying what we are feeling causes a positive chemical reaction to occur in our brain which calms our state. While this is specifically for children, I can see a correlation with Adult Children identifying their feelings in The Front Room.
Using the programme of 12 steps we have a structure or form with which to work with.
In the Front Room we:
1. look at core issue(s);
2. we apply an appropriate name to particular problems and conflicts;
3. we can now focus on our particular struggle. With this focus comes a commitment to work on resolving the issue.
In my experience, identifying the true feelings behind my behaviour has been cleansing. The experience was also painful, confusing and disorientating. When I realised - that is due to all the talking, answering questions and journaling I was now aware - that I had suffered trauma in my childhood I felt ashamed and disloyal. Trauma seemed such an overstatement, I hadn't been in a war - yes I had.
What it was is what it was.
Once the real issue was spoken by me, the healing started to truly occur.